Old Person: So, what's new?
Katherine: EXCITING NEWS! I'm going to student teach in India!
OP: How wonderful! So you're going with a student group?
K: No, I'm traveling with myself.
OP: ...but you're going with friends or something, right?
K: Nope! Traveling solo.
OP: Wow....that's so....well, look at you....
Almost every time I told someone I was traveling solo to India, they either put on their authority face and lectured me about the dangers of women traveling alone, or they hid their disapproval of my life choice with some Minnesota nice and a lot of filler words. Every once in a while I would find someone who was genuinely happy, not just that I had got into this particular program, but that I was making the decision to travel with myself. I found those people to be few and far between.
This kind of reaction has accompanied me through various life choices: "You're going to school for music? What kind of job opportunities are there?" "Oh, you're going to shave your head? Wow, um, good for you." "Uh, you're a feminist? Well, that's nice." It's never really deterred me from pursuing what I feel is worthwhile, but it can be a bit frustrating in high frequency.
I can understand a person's hesitancy when they hear about a woman traveling solo to a developing country. (Notice that I haven't said "traveling alone." It might seem a small difference in semantics, but it has proven to be a big difference in mindset.) India is a large country with a very different set of cultural rules. It is bound to be a difficult and overwhelming place to travel, even without taking into account the awful incidents of rape and sexual assault that have been brought to international attention by the media over the past year.
Given these highly publicized events in India (and all over the world), many people have said that it is simply unsafe for women to travel by themselves overseas.
Bullshit. (Excuse me.)
Instead of expecting women to stay inside their homes so they can be "safe", let's talk about the fact that most violence against women happens in familiar neighborhoods. Let's talk about the fact that it is much more likely for a woman to be raped in her own house by someone she knows than on the street by a total stranger. I'm certainly not trying to downplay the horrific nature of sexual violence, wherever it occurs, and I'm not trying to say that there isn't risk in traveling, but we are asking the wrong questions. The question is not "should women travel independently?" The question, rather, is "why do people (most often men) feel they can transgress upon other people's (most often women's) personal autonomy?" And also "why is rape still happening?" And finally "what can be done to change it?"
Let's also talk about the fact that the world is an AMAZING PLACE with incredible cultures, sights, foods, and people. A great number of people (I'll say the majority without having hard statistics to back me up) live in this world without going through any major trauma or violence. They live in this world and they are beautiful and unique and just waiting to meet other people! There are wonderful human connections and musical instruments and theatrical performances and gorgeous crafts and trees and temples and canyons out there and I'm not going to miss out on that just because I have a vagina. And I'm not going to be apologetic about it.
While I researched for this trip, I found some absolutely wonderful resources, some suggested to me by friends and professors, some found on a Google search. Here are a few blogs devoted to the solo woman traveller:
I have found these blogs to be wonderful sources for advice and anecdotes. They are a breath of fresh air from the stifling cries of sexist negativity that surrounds this decision I'm making. They remind me that, even though I travel with myself, I never travel alone.
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